I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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