No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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