We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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