yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
