The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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