just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
