Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
