I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
