While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
