Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
