He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
