Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
