at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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