Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
