The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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