oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
