In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
