dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
