Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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