we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
where are my eyebrows?
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