U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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