for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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