Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
