Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize