Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
