He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
