Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
