At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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