I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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