Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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