we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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