Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
