Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize