I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
