After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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