It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
