ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
