we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
