Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
