Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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