i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
