if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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