from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
