One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
