Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just found puke in my bra..
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
