Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I am midnight drunk by noon
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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