I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
FUCK WHALES
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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