Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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