does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
