I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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