brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
