You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize