I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
