so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
