Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i need some magic done to my vagina
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
