he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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