i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
