Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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