Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize