we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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