you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
