That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
