It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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