I'm so fucking centered right now
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
